Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Every week, thousands of area Washingtonians decide to escape the beltway and take a trip up to New York.  As with most topics around here, the conveyance used for the trip has become a matter of great debate.

Car:

It's so tempting to take your car.  You have the freedom to come and go as you please, you don't have to deal with crowds, you can blast your tunes and stop to pee whenever you feel like it.  It also means you don't have to shell out more than a hundred bucks for a ticket, but not so fast.  Tolls to NYC are currently $37.05, and just slightly cheaper on the way home.  Plus gas to get you 460 miles round trip, and parking at NYC hotels averages in the $50 range.

And then there's the traffic.  Sure, leaving at 6am on a Saturday morning will usually yield you a pleasant trip taking about 4 hours.  But add in a holiday, rush hour, weather, or construction, and this travel time can double.  It's too much of a crap shoot for my tastes, and really the car is more of a hinderance than a help once in the city.

Car total cost for 2 people for 2 days: around $115 per person ($70 tolls, $100 parking, $50 gas divided by 2).  Not my favorite way to go.

Train:

I don't like the train.  I don't.  A lot of people have a hard time handling that. 

I understand the virtues.  There is no security, you should up ten minutes before the train leaves, don't have to go through security, you move about freely, and it drops you right in the middle of Manhattan.  It really is 3.5 hours door to door (including cab time).  But that also includes 195 minutes sitting in an Amtrak regional train jerking back and forth and stopping more often than it seems like it should.  And these days, its rare to find a daytime NE Regional that isn't completely full.  Plus with no assigned seats, it is an absolute mad dash to find spots together if you are traveling with companions, which is stressful in the Penn Station "pit".

The costs of the train vary wildly - if you book far in advance, off peak, you can get a regional for 98$ round trip, a real bargain.  But most of the time, I find I end up paying closer to $200 about 2 weeks in advance.

Cost for 2 people for 2 nights: 230$ per person (assuming 200$ ticket, Union Station parking and 10$ for NYC taxi)

Plane to JFK:

Have you been to JFK lately?  Probably not unless you've traveled internationally - be thankful that the "local" NYC airport is La Guardia.  JFK is 17 miles from the lower east side of Manhattan - a flat taxi rate of 45$ applies to or from, you can get a car service for $40 from JFK to Manhattan but they charge $63 to get you back.  You also have to heavily factor in traffic to get to and from the airport.  As one friend this weekend described it, the Delta terminals in JFK were designed by children - clearly Terminal 2 was.  DCA to JFK also does not count as a shuttle, meaning you have to put up with all of the crap of regular flying that is somewhat alleviated with the shuttle.

And last but not least, it takes forever to fly to JFK.  The FAA has the standard flight pattern swinging out over the ocean to avoid traffic into Philly, EWR, and LGA.  When you leave, you have to fly out even further over the ocean to get around the inbound traffic, so you end up going east over the Atlantic for 40 miles, when DC is considerably west of New York.  In other words, you drive around the skies of the east coast for an hour in a flight pattern that nearly doubles the distance.  It's just not worth it.

DCA-JFK cost for 2 day flight: $265  ($170 ticket, 55$ taxi and tip each way, 20$ per day parking at DCA)

Place to LGA:

This is the bomb diggity in my book.  You fly from the easy local airport (DCA) to the easy local airport (LGA), its a nearly straight flight pattern that takes 35 minutes, its a short cab ride into Manhattan for about $30 bucks, and you're on the shuttle which means open seating, newspapers, cocktails, and that little Delta shuttle terminal at LGA that is soooooo easy to get in and out of.  Its worth a slightly higher fare if that applies.

Cost per person for 2 day trip: $260 ($200 ticket, $40 taxi and tip each way, $20 per day parking at DCA)

Brand Integrity is a Tricky Thing...

Wal-Mart has an image problem.  Their products are known as being cheap, and their executives are known to milk the little guy producer out of every last penny of profit in order to lower their purchase price, so Wal-Mart in turn can charge lower prices to customers and increase their market share.  They are known to short-change their underpaid workers out of decent health insurance, and are frequently accused of gender bias.  Wal-Mart has an image problem.

At the same point, Target is known as having higher brand standards - they are more picky with who they hire, they pay a bit better, they offer higher quality merchandise.  You don't hear Target's name in the headlines a lot associated with anything more than their weekly ads and what new high end designer they've managed to bring to their discount merchandising model.

This fall, Target led the pack of Black Friday retailers by announcing they were opening at midnight instead of the more traditional early morning (4 or 5am) opening - meaning their employees had to start their shifts - many of which are 8 hours long - at 11pm on Thanksgiving.  This resulted in a should-have-been-expected backlash from both employees and customers, who felt like the retail giant was crossing a line and not truly giving their employees the unpaid holiday as was tradition.

I'm sure Target made an assload of money on Thursday night/Friday morning.  And I'm sure they made more money opening at midnight than they would have at 4am, because as a result of their opening, everyone else did, too.  But there is a part of me that wonders what the dollar value of the damage to their brand integrity has been.  Target is now associated with something than has been rare in their brand history - accusations of employee mistreatment (yes, I'm sure thousands of individual examples can be found, as with any national company).  Do I still shop at Target?  Yes, I do, the MTB and I dropped 200$ there yesterday.  But I'd be a little less likely to drive by the Wal-Mart were it closer than I would have been before this incident happened. That's the problem with having excellent brand integrity - the company actually has to have the excellent integrity to back it up if they want to keep it.  In this case, Target did not.

Shop House

There is a certain study in modern marketing and restaurants with Chipotle.  Customers not only get a burrito that weighs four pounds, they get the feeling of enfrachisement on their meal - the sense that they created this meal, that is is OF them, they feel a personal investment in something as simple as a burrito.

Or, they just want a damn burrito and are too lazy to find one that tastes better. (I don't like Chipotle that much but still find myself an occasional customer)

Regardless, the concept works.  Chipotle offers a safe list of ingredients with similar flavor profiles and merely allows the customer to layer them, with the perception that they've created something delicious.  This concept has made Chipotle one of the fastest growing chains in the world and is making the company mega bucks.  So they've decided to branch out.

Enter Shop House, an asian spin on the Chipotle concept from the same creative team, with the pilot store on Connecticut Avenue just a few feet north of Dupont Circle in DC.

Shop House feels very familiar.  You choose either a bowl or a Banh Mi (sandwich), then select your base (rice or noodle options), meat, veggie, sauce, and "texture" toppings.  Instead of the big troughs at Chipotle, ingredients are in bowls, but you get the idea.  The steak was spicy, with a more mild chicken, while the tofu option look exactly like the Tofu Scramble at the Whole Foods breakfast bar.  I didn't try the meatballs, something about meatballs from a bowl at Shop House just seemed odd.  These meats were piled on your choice of jasmine rice, brown rice, or cold noodles (in addition to the aforementioned Banh Mi).  Next came the veggies with options like Chinese broccoli, long beans, eggplant, and charred corn.  They seem to have realized people frequently triple dip the toppings at Chipotle and have clamped down on the veggies, more than one costs you a buck more.

Next comes the sauces - Red curry (hot, and I'm not kidding, it was hot), green curry, or a fruit "vinaigrette" that had tropical flavors.  There was no "Safe" sauce choice in a traditional brown sauce.  You then have an option of topping with papaya slaw or pickled vegetables.  Finally you have a choice in textures, from toasted rice to fried garlic.  Each bowl was topped with a sprig of Thai Basil.

On paper, I should have freaking loved this place.  I love ethnic foods, spicy foods, foods with big flavors.  But herein lies the problem - as I said, Chipotle's ingredients all use the same flavor profile, so it's almost impossible to make a "bad" combination.  Shop House strays from that safety.  Spicy Steak with charred corn, vinaigrette, papaya slaw, and fried garlic?  No thanks.  I got the MtB the chicken with chinese broccoli, vinaigrette, papaya slaw and toasted rice... what should have been a safe combination tasted... off.  These ingredients are exclusively Thai, Mandarin, Vietnamese, etc.  They are all of the above, with different flavor profiles and an odd juxtaposition of spices.  All in the same bowl, it tastes... unpleasant. 

Maybe they should have "recommended" bowls of good combinations.  Or have one ethnicity with common spicing.

Or maybe they should just stick to burritos.

(Note: to be fair, this is a concept restaurant, not a perfected formula.  Given the success of Chipotle, I would imagine they will fix these issues over time, especially since at 6:45 last night there was literally no line - I must not be the only one to notice.)

The Great American Campout

Ok I'm not going to lie, this post has absolutely nothing to do with life concierge'ing.  You've been warned.

If you have followed my various blogging projects for awhile, you know that I'm not a big fan of protests as they are commonly executed.  A bunch of people get together, waste a bunch of time, inconvenience the people they're trying to convince, and generally leave behind a giant mess.  Their messages are muddled, their tactics inefficient.  Maybe that's why they spend so much time chilling in parks.  I was unemployed for four months within the last year, I didn't go to the park.  I looked for jobs.  I looked online, I looked offline, I went to interviews, I networked.  I don't remember going to a single park to find a job or make a political point.  And now I'm employed.  Just saying.

So I don't understand the Occupy (insert city name) movement.  A bunch of unemployed or underemployed people get together in the middle of a city and "occupy" (stand around and hold badly designed signs while obstructing pedestrian and vehicular traffic) a space in order to protest "the rich" and "big corporations."

Feel free to mentally insert any one of many snarky comments here about finding a job with one of those corporations rather than protesting them if you wish.

I say this as a person who does not now, nor have I ever, been employed by a corporation in my post-college career.  In fact, 90% of my career has been spent in not-for-profit industries.  But those corporations being protested FUND the non profits that I work for.  Without corporate donors, this guy would be unemployed, and would then be unable to write this blog that is read by all of 4 people.  Oh, and whenever a disaster struck, Americans (and people around the world) would have to rely on the American government for assistance.  Yes, the same people it took four days to get water to the Superdome.  Just saying, we tend to put those corporate dollars to good work.

And I'm a bit confused over all this fuss about "profits."  This is hard to say without sounding condescending, but I feel like maybe the Occupiers just don't understand.  Corporations don't make profits to pile the money in a big room to look at it and go HEY LOOK WHAT WE DID.  It is true that businesses are saving more now than before due to economic uncertainty, but their goal isn't to hoard money and go running through the streets saying I HAVE IT AND YOU DON'T.  Nope, they take that money, and they distribute it.  They distribute it to executives, to workers through salaries, stock options, bonuses and 401k retirement plans.  They distribute it to stock holders who have invested in their companies as a legitimate means to grow their dollars (legitimate investing being a paramount requirement for any modern economy).  And then those people take that money, and they invest in OTHER companies, so that they may be successful.  So that they may HIRE people, and then pay those people, and that those people may go out and buy goods and services, which means even more companies can HIRE people.  They take that money and they donate it to my employer so that we may help people.  You can't have an economy without companies.  Sorry folks, just doesn't work that way.

And I'm also unsure about why they are targeting "the rich."  Most business owners, stock holders, investors, pay huge sums of taxes that could otherwise be used to hire people, while working their asses off - all while risking their own worth if their businesses should fail.  They pay their government first, their employees second, and themselves last.  If you make more than $68,000 a year, you are in the top quartile of American wage earners.  Rich just isn't what it used to be.

What is obvious is that these protesters are angry, frustrated, upset.  So are the rest of us.  What is less obvious is just who they are mad at and what they want done about it.  It seems they are frustrated about the same things I am - economic turmoil and uncertainty, and an unwillingness of our "leaders" to do anything to fix it.  But their anger seems misdirected.  "Wall Street" (corporate businesses) and "the Rich" (small business owners) aren't responsible for this quagmire, they are merely facing the same constraints as the rest of us, and have reacted accordingly.  If we had real economic leadership who was willing to face hard choices (I'm looking at both sides of the aisle here), the money would flow, the economy would right, and these protesters could get a job (though they may have to leave their park to look).  I guess protesting a faceless "corporation" is easier, or at least easier to justify against their misguided understanding of a free economy and left-wing political ideology, than demanding more of their elected leadership and being disappointed at those results.

Hopefully they will recognize this soon and leave the park.  Leave it clean.  And leave it before tonight's rush hour.

Breakfast Wars

When I was in college, I worked at a mid-market motel in Iowa.  This one, an AmericInn, was similar to its counterparts - Marriott Courtyard, Hilton Garden Inn, Hampton Inn, etc that cater to business travelers and families on a budget.  These hotels are all the same.  Same fake-homey lobby, same in-room coffee pots in too-small bathrooms, and they all offer some sort of complimentary breakfast.

When I worked at the AmericInn, we had donuts (cut in half), cereal, juice, bagels.  It was a big day when they got a waffle iron that the guests could run themselves.  But at some point, breakfast became the differentiating factor between these brands which has caused a sort of breakfast arms race.  After all, since everything else about these properties is identical, if one offered a hot breakfast over the others, the game was over.

So soon we saw not only waffles, but pancakes, eggs, pre-bagged breakfasts for those on the run, cooked breakfast burritos.  Then someone thought, well hey, since we've gone as far as we can go without hiring a chef, lets make the room nicer, so it's now as if you're sitting in a full service restaurant while eating your complimentary huevos rancheros that the front desk clerked microwaved in the backroom.  BUT NOT SO FAST, why NOT hire a chef?

So I'm at a Marriott Courtyard in Baltimore this week (don't stay there.  or in Baltimore for that matter).  I waltz over to the breakfast counter, where I do see, yes, a COOK making eggs and omelets to order behind the counter.  Then there is a tap tap on my shoulder, and I turn around to an angry looking young woman.  "Excuse me sir, you have to wait to be seated."  Yes, you had to check in to the MAITRE 'D to be SEATED in order to get your MADE TO ORDER breakfast.

Dude, all I wanted is my muffin.  Next step in the hotel wars?  Rip out the breakfast nook and put in a bar.  That is a change I can get behind.

Flying to Orlando

So the MTB and I attended a wedding in Florida last weekend, and chose to fly into Orlando because its significantly cheaper than options closer to our destination.  Through this, we discovered the joy of flying into Orlando.

Kids suck on airplanes.  There, I said it.  Sure, you have the well-behaved ones who don't cry the entire time or kick the back of your seat.  But even the best kids down the security lines, don't know and abide by those common courtesy rules we all know on the plane (when to talk to your neighbor, what is appropriate personal space, volume, etc), and they tend to have to get up to pee a lot.  And then you have the kid "stuff."  The strollers, the diaper bags, the car seats.  It's a lot.

I thought for a 7am flight we may avoid the kid rush.  WRONG.  All those bleary eyed adults who shuffle silently on the plane are replaced by little people who are excited to be awake at that hour, PLUS the excitement of going to Disney World.  Its easy to recall the scene in Kindergarten Cop when Ahnuld walks in and screams SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUPPP! (and i don't even hate children)

So tip 1: fly first class.  Easier said than done, I know.  But if you have an upgrade coupon, use it here.  If they offer an upgrade for a fee, its worth the money.

Tip 2: be patient with the boarding process.  Because even the first class boarding doesn't go in front of pre-boarding, or "Those with small children and/or strollers."  In other words, "pre-boarding" will mean 70% of the flight is on board before premiere boarding steps onto the jet bridge

Tip 3: Orlando's airport bar-to-passenger ratio is pathetic.  For SIXTY gates (gates 60-120), there is ONE bar after security.  And its a bar at the outback steakhouse.  After standing behind 50 parents with strollers in the self-policed "Expert Travelers" lane when going through security, you're going to want to visit.

Inexpensive Happy Hours Downtown

I've come across a plethora of inexpensive happy hours at places I wouldn't have expected recently.  I like booze and don't like to pay for it, and I don't feel like I'm alone, so I thought I'd share:

Oceanaire: Most of Oceanaire's entrees run into the $30s, so it's not a place that many of us have on our regular rotation, however they do have an excellent happy hour.  3$ draft beer, 4$ house wines, and 5$ cocktails make the booze affordable.  Throw in bar snacks for between $5-$8, including a number of seafood tastes, and this is a pretty good deal.

Bourbon Steak Lounge: In the 4 Seasons in Georgetown, most cocktails at BSL go for $15 - hardly a daily happy hour.  But until THIS WEDNESDAY, August 31st, you can get a hot dog and a pint of DC Brau for just $7.  It's off menu, so just ask your server/bartender

J&G Wine Bar: I wrote about this last week, but the bites and tastes at J&G wine bar gets you three tastes of wine and there snacks (paired) for just $20 - incidentally the same price it will cost you to valet your car for this happy hour at the W, so take the metro or walk.

Kellari Taverna: Discounted drinks at the bar ($3-5$) is nice, but even better is the giant block of parmesan cheese with toast that you can slice of chunks from to snack on for no charge, in addition to the giant bowl of olives-  also free.  Have a few cocktails, munch on some snacks, and you have yourself a meal.

NE Regional Amtrak Sale

At the usual $49 each way advanced purchase price, Amtrak already saves you money if you're traveling to NYC alone or with one other person (at 3 people it starts to be cheaper to drive).  But if you book before tomorrow, you can get a roundtrip ticket for just $58, making up for New York City's $7 Miller Lites and high fall hotel rates. 

Book here: http://www.travelzoo.com/car-rental/north-america/-29-Baltimore-D-C-to-NYC-on-Amtrak-Sale-Ends-8-25-1088103/?utm_source=top20_us&utm_medium=email_top20

Lyon Hall

Lyon Hall is one of those neighborhood places that I really really really want to like, but I just can't quite get there.

The place has all the right ingredients - good location in Clarendon, a cool retro vibe, great beer program, mussels on the menu, good service...

This is also a place that treats its neighbors well.  Eating there with the MTB for Easter Brunch, the maitre d tried to do whatever he could to accommodate his regulars despite having a full book.  Service has always been enthusiastic and cheery, even if a few amateurish mistakes shine through (which are always promptly handled by management).  I will say I did have to wait an oddly long time one Saturday afternoon while sitting at the bar by myself to get the bartender's attention - by all alone, I mean I was the one customer they were responsible for.

I also like how their respectable drink list is organized - beers you can drink all afternoon in one category, versus those that'll get you drunk in a hurry.

But then we come to the food.  I get that french food is supposed to be heavy, but sometimes you aren't in the mood to lay waste to your entire afternoon by what you order for lunch, and that's hard to avoid here.  There are also issues of consistency - one day I had the best mussels dish I've ever had.  The next time I ordered the exact same thing and it was downright foul.  The mussels tasted old and about 1/3 weren't opened.  The same bartender who took so long to realize I was a customer also failed to notice (or comment) that half my dish went back untouched.

So for the time being, I'm putting Lyon Hall in the beer category.  Great place to grab a drink on a Saturday afternoon, but if I'm going to drop serious cash on dinner, I'll probably go elsewhere.

NoVa Wineries

So speaking of wine... 

I'll be the first to admit it, I didn't have a lot of faith in Virginia wines.  It was one of those things that I've heard a lot about, but I figured, its Virginia, and its great that they're supporting local businesses, but the wine itself can't actually be good.  So when the MTB said we were doing some wine tastings, my attitude was , eh, its drinking in the middle of the afternoon, who cares if it's good.

The first surprise of the day came as the location of the vineyards - these aren't down near Charlottesville or in the Blue Ridge, there are a number of wineries near Warrenton, just 45 miles away from DC. 

The second surprise was that some of these wines weren't just passable, some of them were really quite good.  Here's the rundown:

La Grange Winery, Haymarket, VA: First I'd highly recommend printing out an actual paper map of the area.  I know, I know, but signal is weak out there, the roads are of the country variety, and one can easily get lost without some guidance.  La Grange is down a pleasant drive near the Shenendoah foothills in an old country house with a number of outbuildings, next to the vineyard.  Once inside, there is a little store that sells trinkets, snacks, and, obviously, wine.  Next to that is the tasting room, with a U-shaped bar to belly up to for your tasting.

Options for tasting are: whites for 5$, reds for 7$, or all of them for 10$.  These are not Napa prices (in a good way) but they are also not Napa pours (in a bad way).  What they call a tasting, I'd call a splash, but hey, its cheap and we're drinking, so its fun nonetheless.  The Chardonnay was our favorite, slightly metallic but not too sweet and not too oaky.  I'd also recommend the Cabernet (should mention that I'm a cabernet man) but the Dead but Still Red was interesting as a Cherry'd Cabernet Franc.  I didn't care for the Meritage as much as it was recommended.  The best part about Le Grange - after your tasting, grab a glass for 7$ and head out to the lawn where you can relax on patio furniture in the shade overlooking the vines.


Pearmund Cellars - Warrenton, VA: After we visited La Grange, we took the back roads (I mean no-shit back roads) to its sister winery near Warrenton called Pearmund.  It seems like a lot of the wineries in NoVa use grapes from the same farms, so while the wines may have similar characteristics, each is made in its own way and has its own personality.

To get to Pearmund, you wind through the vineyard of white grapes and arrive at the morton-style building with a decent interior to the U-shaped tasting bar.  Set up was similar to La Grange, whites, reds, or the reserve tasting with a mix. 

The MTB actually liked the Chardonnay here a bit better than at La Grange, it was a bit less sweet with a buttery oak flavor.  I got the full tasting which included the Malbec....  this was maybe one of the more foul wines I've ever tasted - the nose was so strong of earthy ammonia (pee) that I couldn't get past it.  In fact, I felt so strongly about it that I couldn't even get into the Ameritage blend that included a percentage of the Malbec.

Having said that, I really enjoyed the Cabernet Sauvingon, even though the body one typically expects from a Cab wasn't present, the flavors were there.  I also enjoyed the Cabernet Franc, which was a bit more funky, in a good way.

There are a few other wineries in the area that I look forward to trying soon.  With just $10 for a full tasting and less than an hour away, a Virginia wine tasting isn't a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon...

Bites and Sips at the J&G Wine Bar

J&G Steakhouse is one of the more critically-acclaimed steak restaurants in the city, but I'm guessing most of us have never visited.  Aside from being in a hotel (most of us are naturally suspicious of hotel dining), its very expensive, as one would expect from a name brand steak joint in a trendy hotel downtown.  But there are deals to be had if you look hard enough...

Last night, the MTB and I went downstairs to the J&G Wine Bar (found through the restaurant and down the stairs, or through the entrance at the corner of Penn Ave and 15th St).  The wine bar is a pleasant space, with outdoor seating, and has the entire J&G wine list, full bar, and an abbreviated J&G menu available to patrons.  It also has a special Bites and Sips menu, available by request.

Here's the gist: small (and they mean small) tastes of J&G food, each paired with a tasting of wine from the cellar, for 8$ per piece or $20 for three.  Now first lets dispense with the single option, order the three to get a decent sampling and make it more cost effective.

We tried the Bacon-wrapped shrimp, served with a Chardonnay on the sweet side that paired well with the seafood.  It was one jumbo shrimp with the aforementioned bacon, sitting on top of a slice of ripe avocado, next to a pile of diced papaya mixed with spicy dry mustard.  Next up was three mini sliders (and I mean mini) with wee little sesame seed buns, wee little tomato relish, wee little cheese slices and a wee little burger patty.  This was paired with a Montapulcino red that was very good and also went well with the sliders.  Last up was a pair of tenderloin crustini, medium rare with a spot of J&G steak sauce on the top, served with a Viginia Cab/Merlot blend. 

Let me say something for a second about Virginia wines.  The MTB and I went on a wine tasting a few weeks ago around Haymarket and Warrenton, and I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of some of these wines.  They didn't have the depth of a California Cabernet in taste or smell, but were by no means bad.  However, this was a bad glass of wine at J&G last night.  Little-to-no nose whatsoever, and a strong ammonia taste that came through and, when mixed with the beef flavor, tasted very off-putting.  On our tasting in VA recently, I ran into this one other time with a malbec that was all but undrinkable with a similar ammonia flavor.  So be wary of Virginia reds - some are very good, some are very not.

But back to the subject at hand...  3 tastings of food, plus 3 tastings of wine, for $20 at one of the better restaurants in town, between 5pm-7pm Monday - Friday.  Not a bad deal at all.

Turn up the AC, DC

No, this is not a blog about an Australain rock band.

It's a blog post asking why the hell it has been so hot in so many area businesses lately.  "Hot spot" is not supposed to be a literal term.

I realize that it was the hottest July on record, I do.  But it seems like recently too many bars, restaurants, and hotels have been a bit to reluctant to turn on the cold air.  18th St Lounge, Masa 14, Rhodeside, Mr. Smiths - all were too hot to stick around.  Even the bar at Bourbon Steak in the 4 Seasons hotel on Saturday night was too warm for comfort, and for 15$ per drink, they can afford to run it as cold as they want.  I should also point out that most of these visits have occurred at night, so its not even at the hottest part of the day.

Look, I know running your AC in this heat is probably expensive.  But so is losing customers because they don't want to sit and sweat for hours with their dates.  It is the hospitality business, please be hospitable. 

A defense of the Ebbitt

Earlier this year, Tom Sietsema of the Washington Post released his 2011 Spring Dining Guide, in which he revisited restaurants he hadn't been to in a long time.  Now, I normally like Tom's reviews, and I tend to agree with him much of the time.  However, I do feel (and many others agree) that he has some clear biases - overrating places such as Rasika and Jaleo while hating on others on a continuing basis. 

Now, I also have biases.  One of my biases is my liking of the Old Ebbitt Grill (I'm on my way there in a few minutes).  Which is why I took umbrage with his uncharacteristic beating of the Ebbitt in this dining guide.  It wasn't just a bad review, it was almost uncomfortable to read.  And at least one reader (me) detected an almost childlike enthusiasm for reaffirming what he'd long held to be true - that the Ebbitt was a terrible restaurant.

Now, there are a lot of drawbacks to the Clydes family of restaurants, which owns and operates the Ebbitt.  Through the years, they have gotten less seasonal and experimental with their menu, and many now closely resemble each other with their cooking.  Call it cheap, call it complacency, but Clyde's isn't what it once was.

Having said that, I find several glaring points of disagreement with Tom's review.  The Ebbitt almost needs to be treated as two separate restaurants - the sit-down dining rooms, and the bars (there are four).  I cannot accurately recall the last time I sat at a table at the Ebbitt, for good reason.  Most of the "charm" of the Ebbitt is decor and location, after that wears off, its forgettable food. Ask any Ebbitt regular and I bet they'd say the same thing - they never go to the dining room, they always hit one of the bars.  Now to be fair, its not Tom's job to review bars, but the food is from the same kitchen. 

The bars have some of the most professional, longest serving bar tenders in the city.  Walk in and be polite to both your fellow customers and the staff, and you will be treated in kind.  Walk in and act like an asshole, and well, be treated in kind (I say this as a good thing, for I do not act like an asshole [at a bar], and therefore appreciate the sentiment).  Having a small knowledge of inside Clyde's corporate knowledge (no I have never worked there), I can also tell you that if you complain about service, that is acted upon, sometimes harshly.

Another point Sietsema fails to give the Ebbitt sufficient credit for - the raw bar.  I have never once had a bad oyster at the Ebbitt (full disclosure, I did at Tower Oaks, a sister restaurant).  This is something so few restaurants do well, and the Ebbitt is among the best.  And that, my friends, deserves at least a modicum of credit.  I'd also mention that the entire raw bar is half price during happy hour and late night - you can get a dozen fresh oysters for less than 15$.

Finally, Sietsema contradicts his own review structure when assessing the Ebbitt.  He claims to assess restaurant performance on what it is TRYING to be, the niche it is trying to carve in the market.  The Ebbitt is a money factory no doubt (on the top 10 highest grossing privately owned restaurants in the country).  As I said earlier, their dining room target audience isn't a downtown office worker, its the tourist from the White House or the weekend your parents are in town and you just need somewhere to go.  No, its not a relaxing place to eat, its huge, its bustling, its crowded.  But it FEELS historic, the food is consistent, and thats one reason why they make SO much money.

The other reason?  As I mentioned earlier - the bars, whose target audience IS the downtown worker, and they do it quite well.  The Ebbitt makes more money off of alcohol than many other restaurants on the top lists, and this is a main reason why.

The Ebbitt isn't Citronelle, Komi, or Cityzen.  But it's not trying to be.  It excels at satisfying both of its target audiences, and provides an awesome raw bar at a good price while doing it.  For that it deserved more than a half star.

Brunch at Masa 14

This past weekend, the MTB and I participated in a going away weekend for a friend of ours, that included about a dozen people for the various festivities.  For Sunday brunch, we tried Masa 14 - a relatively new restaurant on 14th St in the District.  Throughout the rest of the day, a smaller sub-group of us kept trying to figure out just what had happened and brunch and whether or not we liked it.

14th St on a Sunday at noon is pretty quiet.  A lot of the bars and restaurants are closed, and many in the neighborhood haven't ventured out of their hangovers yet.  With that in mind, as you step into Masa's small entrance, its total sensory confusion as you are treated to a jam packed restaurant where conversation can best be accomplished by shouting over your fellow diners and the BOOM CHA NTSY NTSY of the stereo blasting out club tunes above your head.  (half way through our brunch they switched to modern up-tempo jazz - a more apt alternative)

So here is the set up - unlimited "small plates" and alcoholic beverages (from a list of about 6 options) for $35.  By now, we've probably all eaten somewhere offering the small plates concept - the food comes out as its ready and is plopped in the middle of the table.  Now imagine that scenario in a group of 12 mostly hungover twenty-somethings trying to hear each other over the roar.  12 people x 3 dishes ordered in first round = 36 plates coming out of the kitchen with no label and little explanation.  People trying to a. figure out what it is, b. figure out if they ordered it, and c. irregardless of (b.) trying to figure out if they want a bite on the way by.

Absolute chaos.

Now, we're a bunch of reasonably well-mannered individuals who try not to be total jerks in public, but there was no way that this set up wasn't stressful.  Take me as an example - I just wanted my pho sandwich (I'll come back to this later).  So every plate that it came out, if it wasn't the pho sandwich, I wasn't interested.  20 minutes go by.  I also know I'm the only one that ordered this, so I cast a keen eye toward each plate to protect my order should it be placed in front of someone else.  This isn't how brunch should be.  Brunch should be relaxed.  Brunch should be quiet (until football starts), relaxing, etc.

The food - all in all, the food was ok to really pretty good, considering how many plates the kitchen was putting out at a very fast rate of speed.  I had the sauteed cauliflower, which had a nice bite with heavy soy sauce - would've been a lot better had it been a bit warmer.  Also had the Masa Chicken Salad, which was a vinegar-based dressing with veggies and chicken - refreshing on a hot day.  And then the previously stated Pho sandwich - sliced beef round with pickled onions, jalapeno, sprouts and a sriracha dressing was definitely a dish I'd get again.  The fried rice was good, but at the end of the day, its fried rice.  I really enjoyed the berries with yogurt, and the tenderloin benedict was very good.  One caveat - this is small plates in name only.  Some of these sandwiches, particularly the burgers, were full-sized. 

So back to the debate.  Several of the group said they didn't mind doing it once but would never go back.  I personally thought the concept would work much better with 4 people rather than 12 - I don't fault the restaurant that our party was abnormally large and hence we sort of 'broke' the system.  But consider the value - 35$ for bottomless food and drink sounds good, right?  But its not hard to find a brunch in DC offering 5$ bottomless mimosas and mary's, so its essentially 30$ for unlimited food - a similar price of many buffets in the area.  So it really comes down to individual tastes and how much you can eat.  I could have easily walked out of here with the Pho sandwich and the berries and yogurt  -$12 as ordered off the menu.  Of course, I probably ended up eating closer to $40 worth by the time all was said and done.  I also felt the food here was better and fresher than what you'd find on a buffet.

Would I go back?  Probably, with a small group, on a special occasion.  But I'd be tempted to hit Front Page's quiet bar on a Sunday morning again before I'd revisit Masa 14.

The art of the Saturday lunch

Saturday lunch is one of the great luxuries of life that too many people fail to take advantage of.  Saturday lunch shouldn't be rushed, it shouldn't be drive thru fast food or a frozen dinner from a box.  This is 'Me' time, and while company is occasionally ok, dining solo can also be just the ticket.

What makes it so great?  Well, first of all, there is the freedom.  Go at 11, go at 3, stay for one hour or four, who cares, its Saturday.  Secondly, you can go wherever the hell you want - which is really the great advantage of dining solo.  And thirdly, there's booze.  This is the one occasion where you won't see me drinking Miller Lite - chances are I'm only having a few, so I'll pick a heavy beer that packs an ABV punch and has actual taste (Yes, I still love my Miller Lite).  A few of my Saturday favorites:

- Clydes Tower Oaks Lodge, Rockville, Maryland.  One of the great parts about TOL is its location - its located just north of the beltway off 270, tucked back in a empty (on a Saturday) office park on a grassy, wooded lot.  It's that perfect distance to feel like you've actually gone somewhere and done something without really leaving town.  The bar area is large and dark without feeling like you're doing something wrong by being there in the day time.  There's a bunch of camping shit on the wall, the beer list is good, and the cocktails are strong.  Man time?  Check. 

The bartenders are professional, able, but not intrusive.  The food at Tower Oaks is the best of any Clydes restaurant, and there is a half off raw bar during lunch on Saturdays.  There are TVs if you want to watch the game, but they aren't intrusive.  Normal bar capacity on a Saturday at noon: 30%.  This is Saturday lunch nirvana.

- Dogfish Ale Brew House, Falls Church/Seven Corners, VA.  As the name suggests, this place has the beer factor down pat.  A long list of interesting brews that will get you drunk faster than you can say TAXI!  The food, well, the food is passable.  The rule of thumb here is the worse the food is for you, the better they cook it.  They have a sampler of fried food that will make your cardiologist cry.  It does have a bit of a family restaurant vibe to it, but there aren't too many kids here at lunch on Saturday.  The bartenders definitely know their beer, so take advantage and ask for their recommendations.  There are TVs but, similar to TOL, they aren't obtrusive.  Usual bar capacity at noon on a Saturday is about 70%.

- Coastal Flats, Tysons Corner Mall, McLean VA.  This restaurant does better than most at enabling you to forget you are in a mall.  And unlike other mall restaurants, they pay attention to their bar and the business it gets.  The beer menu is somewhat limited, but they do have their house brand beer that is actually pretty decent.  There are flat screen TV's on two sides of the bar that are easily visible but aren't in your face.  The bar staff tends to stick around this place, so they're pros and recognize you after a few visits.  The food is also pretty good, if a bit on the high priced side for a Saturday lunch.  The shrimp and grit cakes are money, as are the filet tips pasta. 

And after you visit any of these three comes the best part of Saturday lunch - the nap.

When you just want a quiet little cocktail...

The MTB and I have been scouting rehearsal dinner locations over the past few weeks (or months) - a journey that took us to Birreria Paradiso the other evening, located under Pizzeria Paradiso in Georgetown.  We thought it would be perfect!  Fun, good food, great beer, private space.  What I never noticed was the sheer volume of 50 people talking all at the same time.  WHAT?  I SAID I NEVER NOTICED THE SHEER VOLUME OF 50 PEOPLE TALKING ALL AT THE SAME TIME.  It was mind-numbing.  It was ear-splitting.  It was out of contention for a rehearsal dinner.

Cut to last night at Whitlow's on Wilson in Clarendon.  Wednesday nights aren't known to be big nights out in NoVa, and there wasn't a great special last night, but yet Rosa and I found each other shouting to hear each other in our booth.  What gives, is everyone just getting louder (doubtful) or are we just getting old (probable)?

If you want a quiet place to grab a cocktail and a bite to eat, here are a few basics:

• Hotels and their restaurants tend (TEND to) be quieter than most other establishments.  The downside?  That is largely because no one wants to eat in their restaurants.  Stay away from the Hiltons of the world when it comes to dining, and hotel restaurants can be good AND intimate  
• In DC, if its in Chinatown, its going to be loud.  Even places that shouldn't be or are a bit tucked away (the upstairs bar at Clydes in Gallery Place comes to mind) get raucous when there are special events at the Verizon Center.
• If a place is "hot", it's going to be loud.  Graffiato in DC is by far the hottest ticket in town right now, and each review I've heard talks about the roar.
• Outdoor patios are a great place to escape the noise.  The bar at Bourbon Steak at the 4 Seasons can get noisy on weekend evenings, but step out onto the patio (one of the best in DC) and its very relaxing.

A few honorable mentions for a conversation:

• Boulevard Woodgrill in Clarendon - regular readers know I'm a fan of the happy hour here.  Because it's rarely 'packed' its usually very pleasant to have a conversation
• Blue Duck Tavern - the restaurant is spacious enough that it never gets too noisy (see previous hotel comment).  The food is also excellent, though the drink menu is overpriced by about $2 per drink.
• Old Ebbitt Oyster Bar - the Ebbitt is huge and can be way too loud in the main dining room, but slip into this hard-to-find area of the restaurant around the back side of the Walrus Bar, and it's much more amenable to conversation.
• New Heights - small bar but severely underrated.  Great drinks and food make this a short-lister for anyone in the area.  Both the bar downstairs and dining room upstairs are quiet without being stuffy.
• Caucus Room - Ok I'm breaking my own rule here.  This restaurant is kinda sorta in Chinatown.  Its also spacious and not very busy.  Yes the food is expensive, but the drinks aren't too over-priced.
• Monocle - this Capitol Hill mainstay on the Senate side could not be more old school unless its name was the Prime Rib (also a quiet spot, though I haven't been to or seen a bar there).  The Monocle does get a bit more crazy in December around holiday parties.

The Downside to Group-based Online Deals

Groupon and Living Social are two of the fastest growing technology companies in the world.  We all know the drill, you get an email for a great deal (usually at least 50% off) and when a certain number of people also buy into the deal, it's triggered and you get the coupon.  By far the most popular types of Groupons are the 'going out' deals for restaurants, bars, etc.

But am I the only one who isn't a fan?  I feel like this is akin to Restaurant Week, except that not everyone in the restaurant is in on the gig.  So I have to pull out the coupon, present it to the waiter, only to be treated like a second class citizen since 90% of the users probably don't tip on what the bill SHOULD have been without the coupon.  Ok, maybe I just feel like a second class citizen and the servers don't care.  But the point is, I feel uncomfortable.

But even more of a problem lies in the essence of their business model - having the GROUP in the Groupons.  Take today's deal for example - Cafe Asia here in DC.  So far, almost 1,700 people have bought this deal.  That means that for the next two months, Cafe Asia will be jammed with people.  It will be jammed with people - many of whom would not otherwise be at Cafe Asia.  So, when I go in to get my Kirin Ichiban on tap and my Tom Yum Soup to-go (a weekly-or-so trek for me), I will have to fight through a crowd of customers, argue with cranky servers, and receive food that probably isn't as good as usual (see the previous Restaurant Week comparisons?).

Maybe Cafe Asia will weather the storm better than some.  Recently, Bucks Fishing and Camping in Northwest DC did a Groupon promotion.  Bucks is a relatively expensive place with a stellar reputation, so this was a deal worth getting.  Problem was, everyone that I heard from who went said the food and service sucked and the restaurant was overwhelmed.

I guess while they were getting their overcooked steak and bad service at Bucks, I was quietly enjoying my Kirin Ichiban on draft while waiting for my Tom Yum Soup from Cafe Asia.  Ohhhh, those were the days...

Changes to Cap City Brewery

There aren't a lot of options for sit-down places to eat on the senate side of Capitol Hill.  The Monocle, Johnny's Half Shell, and until last Saturday, Capitol City Brewery in the Postal Square building.  But fear not liquid lunchers, while Cap City may be have served their last pint in their old location last weekend, they'll soon be opening a new restaurant inside Union Station.

Can I get a quick amen for a decent restaurant in Union Station?  According to the City Paper, they are also consolidating brewing operations to their Shirlington outpost after a new manager took over this past spring and is trying to clean up the beer business a bit.  They'll still have the CCB classics like Amber Waves Ale and Capitol Kolsch, they just hope to improve the quality a bit - and lets face it, there was room for improvement there.

Boulevard Woodgrill

Every time I'm at Boulevard Woodgrill for happy hour, I'm both happy that the rest of Clarendon has turned its back on this place, while surprised its not packed every weeknight.

The BW has been around for awhile - its one of those places you can trace to a culinary fad (I think the name gives away which fad I'm referring to) but that has stuck around - albeit in need of an update, both in decor and menu.  The restaurant is large without being expansive, and has a long bar running down one side with ample patio seating outdoors in nice weather.

But I've never sat outside, and never sat in the dining room - and don't expect to.  At the bar (only) from 5-7, all appetizers are half price, with various drink specials on most of their beers (4$), house wine, and rail liquors.  Every time the MTB and I go, we get the Beef Bruschetta - slices of filet mignon on top of toasted bread with tomato, mozzarella, basil and drizzled with balsamic.  Its a pretty hefty appetizer that can make a light meal - for $5.25.  Firecracker chicken is a plate of standard boneless hot wings  - $4.75.  A serviceable caprese salad, egg rolls, seafood options and artichoke dips round out the bar menu. 

This isn't gourmet.  Some food options are better than others.  But its quiet, its not pretentious, the service is attentive and the food is sufficient.  The MTB and I can go in, get a few apps and a few drinks and walk out with a $25 bill.  And we can do that while being able to have a conversation and without feeling like we're in the middle of a kickball beer pong tournament.  A winner all around.

Those crafty folks at Jet Blue are at it again

Authorities have been warning residents of southern California to the upcoming calamity for months.  In recent weeks, news of the impending doom has spread across the country as the rest of us watch and be glad we aren't in this thick of the mess.  This weekend, the California Department of Transportation is shutting down the 405, one of the busiest and most jammed interstates in the country.  Some shuttle companies are estimating this 38 mile trek will take more than 4 hours during the shut down as millions scramble to find alternative routes to the beach.

Have you ever been stuck in traffic and thought, GOD I wish I could just fly over this mess?  Well now you can.  Jet Blue is offering 4$ flights (each way, plus taxes and fees) between Burbank and Long Beach - again, a 38 mile trip.  So, for 18$, you get a round trip flight that is gate-to-gate in 40 minutes.

While this is almost assuredly a money-loser in the short term for Jet Blue (the average cost to operate a A319 per hour is around $1,900, with shorter allowances for fuel but full crew costs, it probably costs Jet Blue around $1,200 to make these hops with a capacity of around 150 passengers netting $600 for loss of $600 per flight), what they make up in advertising and customer loyalty dollars is worth its weight in gold, and is a heck of a lot cheaper than a full spread of television advertising.

Summer 2011 Restaurant Week dates announced

RAMW has just announced the dates of this year's summer restaurant week, to be held this August 15 - 21st.  Restaurant week can be a disaster with restaurants too often offering reduced quality and portions to a large number of new patrons.  One way to beat this is to find some of the many restaurants that extend restaurant week to include extra weeks or even the entire month of August - that way you get the good prices without having to fight through as many people. 

More info: http://restaurantweekmetrodc.org/

The Tap Dance

Hamilton's is a strange bar.  It's one of those bars that defies classification.  Not quite a dive bar (too big, too bright), not quite a college bar (not big enough and they check ID's), not a sports bar (the actual bar isn't big enough and TV's not prominent enough) and definitely not a lounge.  It is also in a downright strange location, nestled next to the HUD headquarters in an area between Judiciary Square and Capitol Hill.  So why is this place crowded on a Saturday afternoon?

The tap dance.

Americans love a good drinking contest.  I mean let's be honest, we love any opportunity to show our individual dominance in any area of life, and if you add drinking to the mix, well that's just the tops. 

The Tap Dance sounds deceptively easy.  The rules: drink one pint of beer from each of the bar's 10 taps, in order, in under three hours for a price of $35.  If you complete this successfully, you get a t-shirt.  If I had been designing the shirt it would have said "I had to endure a 2 day hangover because of the tap dance and all I got was this stupid t-shirt", but alas, I'm not the tshirt designer.  If you vomit, you have to be an extra 20$ clean up fee.

So my first introduction to the TD was at a birthday party that was attended by a few bartenders, who were taking on the challenge.  Three beers in and they were sipping water and slowing down.  What the hell?  I laugh at this challenge, and I scoff at you for not being able to do laps around it.

Several months later, I took it on myself one afternoon with a friend.  The first thing you have to know about the TD, is that most everyone else at the bar on a weekend is doing the same thing.  The second thing you have to know, is that very few other people in this world can hold their liquor as well as you can (the "you" being particular to YOU, fair reader, for we do not annoy ourselves when drinking, right?).  In other words, prepare for amateurs and the antics therein.  Thirdly, I would HIGHLY recommend not drinking at lunch earlier in the day, as I had (oh back off, it was a Saturday [ok that was purely a happy coincidence]).

Those little fuckers at Hamiltons start you off with the light beers, the easy stuff.  10 miller lites?  No problem. But not being totally stupid, we order food (they have tater tots, being the perfect food for this challenge). Around beer 4, something strange happens.  I start to get drunk.  If you even a casual reader of this blog, you realize that 4 beers is not normally a problem for me.  By beer 6 I'm starting to eye the remaining taps with concern.  What is happening to me?  Can the beer change every glass really have this big of an effect, and if so, why didn't I add more variety a long time ago? 

Clipper City Loose Cannon, I hate you.  You are beer number 9.  You are a thick IPA, bitter as can be, high ABV, and you are kicking my ass.  I consider resigning, except that I have a certain reputation to maintain with the friend I am there with.  I gulp water.  I eat tater tots.  I slow down.  I conquer the Clipper City.

The last beer on the taps is a Guinness.  Like a horse to the barn, I'm feeling that last burst of extra energy.  I CAN DO THIS!  I CAN WIN MY CRAPPY T SHIRT!  I take a sip. My friend, who hasn't taken a sip of water and frankly seems bored at this point, asks the bartender to bring him the liquor to make his last guinness an irish car bomb.  I die a bit inside.

I have never been so happy to get a crappy tshirt (which for reasons known only to the alcohol, I requested in a size way too large for me so I can never even wear it) and have never worked so hard for one.  What do two people do after winning the tap dance?  Sit around the bar and drink miller lite for another three hours.  With two months between me and the day after hangover, I can now say that, all and all, it wasn't a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Cava Mezze

The first Cava Mezze burst onto the DC restaurant scene a few years ago, infusing the small plates concept with a greek-inspired flair to its first location on Capitol Hill.  Since then, Cava has turned into a marketing machine, pumping out branded hummus, tabouleh and other mediterranean products to grocery stores all over the DMV, in addition to opening additional outposts in Rockville and Bethesda.  These folks are making some bank.

Last weekend, the newest branch from the Cava team opened in Clarendon (near Circa), and the MTB (missus-to-be) and I stopped in for a happy hour and some initial thoughts last night.

The restaurant is VERY Clarendon - if you've been in a restaurant in Clarendon in the last two years, you know what I mean. Sparse space, with a lot of stained wood warming up the metal and granite warehouse look. Overall the restaurant is a bit smaller than I was expecting, so the call-ahead premier seating Sunday-Thursday may come in handy (not accepted Fri-Sat). I did hear the staff discussing opening an outdoor space after the restaurant has a chance to stretch its legs a bit.

Interesting drink list - quite a few house cocktails that go beyond the norm, with a respectable wine list, including a lot of choices by the glass. Beer selections weren't too adventurous but did go beyond the Bud Light/Miller Light with Mythos and a few microbrew options. I started with a great Cucumber and Jalapeno Margarita that wasn't too sweet, wasn't too spicy, and was refreshing on a hot day.

Being as this was just a happy hour, we got an order of the Hummus and an order of the Crazy Feta - Feta cheese whipped with chunks of Jalapeno. The MTB enjoyed the hummus (I have yet to find a hummus I enjoy), while my Crazy Feta was crazy good (sorry, couldn't resist), but I wouldn't order by myself again - your life concierge doesn't need to be eating big balls of whipped cheese all by himself. Both came with bottomless warm pita bread - good pita but certainly not Zaytinya level.  The bread comes with any food order, along with a trio of comped snacks - olive oil for dipping, greek olives, and an awesome Harissa - the version here is mild with both a tang and a bit of a bite.

The one major drawback - there was no happy hour, at least not on a Tuesday night. In fact the staff almost seemed proud of this fact. Its Clarendon, its a Tuesday night, there are 20-30 options of other places to go within two blocks, all of which offer some sort of happy hour discount. While we enjoyed our experience overall, I won't be quick to drop another $60 at Cava when I can spend 1/3 of that down the street for after work drinks and a snack.

And I'm back

Two years ago, I stopped writing on this blog.  I'd simply run out of things to say.

Since then, I've switched jobs (many times), moved to Iowa, moved back to DC, and gotten engaged.  So here we go - a new perspective, new experiences and new neighborhoods to write about (Oh my God I live in Virginia).  Glad to be back.