Breakfast Wars

When I was in college, I worked at a mid-market motel in Iowa.  This one, an AmericInn, was similar to its counterparts - Marriott Courtyard, Hilton Garden Inn, Hampton Inn, etc that cater to business travelers and families on a budget.  These hotels are all the same.  Same fake-homey lobby, same in-room coffee pots in too-small bathrooms, and they all offer some sort of complimentary breakfast.

When I worked at the AmericInn, we had donuts (cut in half), cereal, juice, bagels.  It was a big day when they got a waffle iron that the guests could run themselves.  But at some point, breakfast became the differentiating factor between these brands which has caused a sort of breakfast arms race.  After all, since everything else about these properties is identical, if one offered a hot breakfast over the others, the game was over.

So soon we saw not only waffles, but pancakes, eggs, pre-bagged breakfasts for those on the run, cooked breakfast burritos.  Then someone thought, well hey, since we've gone as far as we can go without hiring a chef, lets make the room nicer, so it's now as if you're sitting in a full service restaurant while eating your complimentary huevos rancheros that the front desk clerked microwaved in the backroom.  BUT NOT SO FAST, why NOT hire a chef?

So I'm at a Marriott Courtyard in Baltimore this week (don't stay there.  or in Baltimore for that matter).  I waltz over to the breakfast counter, where I do see, yes, a COOK making eggs and omelets to order behind the counter.  Then there is a tap tap on my shoulder, and I turn around to an angry looking young woman.  "Excuse me sir, you have to wait to be seated."  Yes, you had to check in to the MAITRE 'D to be SEATED in order to get your MADE TO ORDER breakfast.

Dude, all I wanted is my muffin.  Next step in the hotel wars?  Rip out the breakfast nook and put in a bar.  That is a change I can get behind.