The Guide to Drinking (Heavily) On Weeknights

It's not a big secret that D.C. is a city lubricated with alcohol (well, and bullshit - oddly enough you build up tolerance to both over time, but I digress...). Cocktail parties, fundraisers, association receptions and client dinners mean that, unlike a lot of scenes, there is never a shortage of places to drink Monday - Thursday in this town (and then of course your private lives on the weekend, but this is a guide to weeknight drinking). Throw in the fact that many of these functions come with an open bar (surest way to pack in the bodies), and that many hill staffers are actively encouraged, if not required, to drink with their bosses, and you have a recipe for unpleasant mornings.

Oh sure, you could be one of those "responsible" types that goes out and only has a few, but what's the fun in that? Lets face it few of us can make it from Sunday to Friday without going out (or going insane), so how to survive? Follow these tips, garnered from years of (heavily) drinking on weeknights:

1. Starting time is crucial. If the first glass hits your mouth at 8:30 or after, this is a serious no-go situation. I mean, you have to set yourself up for success from the get-go. Not starting until 8:30 pretty much guarantees you will be at the bar until well after midnight - not a good harbinger of morning success the next day. Yes, I'm sorry this DOES preclude going out for Monday Night Football, but seriously, they don't kick that off until 8:45.

2. Conversly, while the D.C. bar closing time is officially 2 a.m., for those professionals over the age of 23 - consider it 11:30pm. This gets you home by midnight and asleep by 12:30 (or 12:01 if you're like me), thereby ensuring at least 7 hours of sleep. This is VITAL to recovery - DO NOT CLOSE THE BAR (he says while slamming his fist on the table). You aren't 21 anymore (well ok there may be a few of you out there, go ahead and learn your lesson the hard way).

3. Weeknights are not the times to play chemist with the alcohol. Pick a known commodity and stick with it throughout the night. For me, it's light beer, for others it's vodka tonic or jack and diet, but no matter what - weeknight drinking should be kept to your standard "go-to" drink that you are most used to it. Oh sure, I know what reaction I'll get from wine - I'll feel like my processing speed will be at 50% the next day - not good. Jager Bombs? I won't be nauseated, its just like I have a 12-hour accute case of mono the next day. And for the love of God don't mix and match - you'll just end up with the worst of all worlds.

4. At the end of the night, go home. No, not THAT home, YOUR home, and sleep in YOUR bed. Alone. Especially if you were at a work function. A walk of shame may suck at 9 on a Saturday, its much worse at 630 on a Wednesday followed by a full day at the office.

5. Eat early, eat often. While eating the full meal at 9 after you've been out since 6 is better than not eating at all, it's very important to get food in you at the start. If you're killing a happy hour before a dinner later, eat some bar snacks (I love the freebies at Off the Record... mmmmh wasabi peas...). After you've eaten, snacking a bit throughout the evening helps. I'm not saying you have to eat a full meal, but grabbing a few handfuls of cereal at midnight will help you bounce in the a.m.

6. While it may be painful, try to get up and go to the gym in the morning. Even if its just walking, blood circulation will help clear your head faster, and the more booze you sweat out at the gym, the less you'll smell like whiskey when you get to the office.

A few signs it's time to leave the bar on a weeknight:

- You hear someone yelling CHUG CHUG CHUG in the background
- You find yourself grinding on Sarah, the supervisor from across the hall
- Someone hands you a shot with lime and a salt shaker (note: leave BEFORE you take the shot)
- The bartender says "Ok, but just ONE more" (note: leave BEFORE you take the drink)