Bar Patron Etiquette

Dear fellow DC area drinkers,

If you've looked around, we are not alone. Despite tough economic times, the bar business tends to be immune from recession. I've noticed recently a certain... lack of basic bar manners in the area - both to your fellow bar patrons and to the fine people ensuring you have a quality bar experience. Here is a list of reminders, a brush up on your bar etiquette of sorts, to ensure that everyone can still have a good time.

- If the bar is busy, don't take up more seats than the number of patrons in your party. Coats, bags, and extraneous body parts do not need their own seats, paying patrons' asses do. It's incredibly rude to ask someone to stand so your backpack can have an open chair, not to mention it's bad for the bar's business. And if you can't stand to sit right next to someone you're at the bar with and require and open stool between you, you need to find new friends.

- If you're on the prowl for seats, show your fellow seat-searchers a bit of courtesy. Yeah, no need to NOT sit down at an open seat when someone is looking at the far end of the joint, but if there is another patron clearly angling for a particular seat and they've been waiting for longer, it's a dick move to butt in. Chill out and wait your turn. It's a delicate balance of aggressiveness and courtesy, but err on the side of courtesy.

- If you're getting a divorce, in the middle of a custody battle, firing an employee, or friend dumping that dude thats been sleeping on your couch for three months, please, oh please, do not engage in these activities in a bar. Most of us go out to relax. Sitting next to a couple who is loudly fighting, is not relaxing. Sitting next to a guy dumping his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, is not relaxing. If you know there is going to be an altercation, is a bar really the best venue for these disputes? These incidents rain on the collective bar parade.

- It's always amazing to see bar patrons astonished that they receive shitty service after they've been snapping their fingers and shouting "Hey Barkeep" at the bartender. At the very least, bartenders are people and deserve a basic modicum of respect as such. And many of your better bartenders are career professionals who probably make more schwag than we do sitting on the other side. Treat the staff nicely, and generally they'll return the favor.

- If you're going to sit there and talk to your friends for 3 hours while sipping a diet coke, that's your perogative. But please keep in mind, if you spend 4$ during that time period, you're taking business away from the people who rely on tips for their livelihood. Please tip accordingly (and going from 20% to 25% on that 4 bucks doesn't count).

Theme is, if you're respectful to fellow bar patrons and staff, everyone can have a good time. (getting off soapbox now)